I always wonder at people who regardless of what may happen in their lives, can seem to stick to a routine that anchors their world to a more normal axis. Old dependable. That's what's so amazing.
I, on the other hand, seem to be living my life one week at a time these days and the one time I raise my head slightly above water, I find that a whole month has gone by and the face of the world has changed more drastically than I could have ever thought possible.
The last time I visited these pages, Malaysia was going through another one of those episodes that may or may not define a different future for some if not most. For the rest of us, we went about our daily lives, only just quietly resenting the glaring limelight that's been poured over our corner of the world over such an unglamorous cause.
Personally, I've had far too much on my plate to give more than a days' worth of contemplation. Quite frankly I found other things to be far more disturbing, such as one women's movement that's getting far too much attention all over the world for all the wrong reasons. My thoughts and feelings about that have evolved steadily from being scandalised, to embarrassed, to disappointment, sadness and finally, apathy.
Still, other things went on. Most of them administrative as I tidy up loose ends in order to leave the country in September without much to worry about.
Why have I decided to do this Masters' degree? A combination of factors really, not the least of which, is to get a little bit smarter. But there are other reasons including my serious need to get a break and revert back to a time in life when things were a whole lot simpler. I could go on and on about how my undergrad years were the best years of my life but not without sounding like I'm making a sad attempt to recapture a moment in youth out of desperation.
No, this programme will serve a nobler purpose. By my estimation at least. The story behind that will deserve a post on its own. For now, rest assured, I go in peace.
In the meantime, I am adjusting to the strange feeling of letting go. I will say a final good bye at the end of this month to the first employer I had ever known. Possibly the best organisation I will have the good fortune of being a part of. It's a very odd feeling. A mixture of sadness, sanguine, and dread. A prickly box of confusion as I experience my work fall away from me, and my team adjusting themselves clumsily for the day when I don't show up to work to pick up the pieces.
Such a strange contrast to the rest of the maddening world as I continue to worry about my own circumstances. The explosion of bad news after bad news to have come from the Western world is astonishing. Today I was reading about how markets across the world tumbled ferociously to levels never seen before since the crisis three years ago.
I was brought up on the kind of thinking diet where a powerful and almighty West with benevolent intentions (though sometimes less obviously so) will continue to champion the ideals of democracy, economy and modernity, and yet, the past three years have been nothing short of earth shattering. Every other month there seems to be a new low (a default here, a disgraced CEO there, a potential downgrade, and an embezzlement or two) and my core belief system gets shaken ever more apart. It's a whole new world out there and one never short of possibilities.
So there, we've come a little close to catching up. There's lots more to say so I'll keep writing. In the meantime, have a pleasant week ahead and don't forget to breathe before taking any headlong plunges.
Come back soon :)
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